MYSTERY AMERICA: Border Patrol
Directed by Mark Herwick
PET PSYCHIC INTERVIEW
FIELD PIECE: Stephen Schneider sits down with real-life pet psychic Satish Kumahundan.
WATCH
A WRINKLE IN TIME
FIELD PIECE: Living on the border between two time zones doesn't sound like such a big deal. But as Stephen Schneider re ..... Play
GOOD MORNING, JANET
The B Squad finds that, contrary to popular belief, sexual harassment is hilarious. ..... Play
THE TRAINER
After a workout with personal trainer, Teddy, you're definitely going to need to hit the showers... but you'll never be ..... Play
FAKETRIX
Blue pill, red pill...it doesn't matter. The important thing is- Neo swallows. There is no Faketrix. ..... Play
RANDOM THINGS
Here are some random facts about Stephen Schneider. I know you're interested. ..... Play
RUPERT CHAMBERLAIN, PI
FIELD PIECE: Rupert Chamberlain (Schneider) talks his way into a major Los Angeles Radio Station to discuss the biggest ..... Play
THE RAPE WHISTLER
Don't worry, Rape Whistler is not what it sounds like. Unless you think it's about a superhero that rapes people. Then y ..... Play
FELINEDELPHIA
hen a cat with AIDS is fired by a conservative cat law firm because of his condition, he hires a homophobic small time c ..... Play
VALTREX
An ad for medicine that encourages you to hide herpes from your partner because your Herpes is none of their business. ..... Play
WHYOWA?
FIELD PIECE: Stephen Schneider heads to Iowa to find out why its voters are more important and expensive than you. ..... Play
BRIDGE TO SOMEWHERE
FIELD PIECE: Alaska attempts to build a $400 Million Bridge to connect Ketchikan to its airport on Gravina Island 1,000 ..... Play
THE REALTOR
Stephen Schneider. looks for a realtor in Los Angeles. He ends up finding something very different. ..... Play
THANKSGIVING REPORT
Eric Ledgin report how men across the country are using Turkey as the new date rape drug. ..... Play
DORITOS SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL #2
After man doesn't share his Doritos with his best friend, his best friend decides to eat his own sna ..... Play
BALLOON BOY on CNN
Mayumi Heen admits the truth about the Heene Family. That they're a bunch of liars. ..... Play
MATH DAD
CBC kicks off its fall Must Be TV lineup with America's NUMBER 1 comedy, MATH DAD! ..... Play
TERROR REPORT
This Breaking News story gives Americans (and terrorists) a look at a perfect target for a potentially disastrous attack ..... Play
THE FAMILY
The realingist real-a-real you ever realed. Fox's newest reality show will blow your mind. ..... Play
DON LAPRE
The infamous Don Lapre is at it again. Find out how you too can make money by following his program. ..... Play
B-SQUAD LIVE
This is an excerpt taken from the B-Squad's live performance at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills. ..... Play
CHINESE-BABY.com
The coolest phenomenon to come out of China since Ping Pong--chinese-baby.com! ..... Play
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MYSTERY AMERICA: Border Patrol
This is a field piece where I interviewed an actual Border Patrol Auxiliary Agent to discuss the Alien problem at our bo.....
The DMV
The DMV is an excellent place to bring both your baby who is one week old and screaming constantly along with your two year old daughter who can’t s.....
Annoyatarians: A Real Conversation with a Real Meathead
Just pick something up for me while you’re at the supermarket like some Tofu or a pack of Boc.....
Going to the Gym
The gym I work out at in Hollywood smells like one giant set of man balls. So whenever I don’t feel like going, I just put my underwear over my head.....
Shoot Me
Going on vacation with someone who just bought a brand new camera can be a real treat. “Oh that’s interesting (snap),” “How cool is that telep.....
Weddings Are Fun!
Hey, thanks for inviting me to your wedding that’s taking place on the other side of the country. I was just looking at this pile of money here and.....
Cheap Ass Motherfuckers
I used to have a roommate who didn’t pay for food. He was the last guy to ever reach in his pocket when a bill came, h.....
X’s and Ohs…
It’s funny, you can date someone for 4 years and after you break up, and a short period of time goes by, you act like complete strangers to one anot.....
inDirecTV
The following is a real conversation that took place between Steve Schneider & DirecTV.
Actors: The Most Important People on the Planet
Actors are the most important human beings on the face of the earth — everyone knows that.....
Mind Over Manners — Part Too
I want nothing more than for you to take a bite of my sandwich so you can stop looking at it and let me enjoy it. And do.....
Mind Over Manners
I always try to do the right thing in life like a good little boy. I follow all the rules and get in line like the next person, but the truth is, I ha.....
There’s the Rub (and Tug)
Massages are one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. That’s why I think it’s kinda funny tha.....
Wet Hot American Shower (Sex)
Whenever I shower with my girlfriend I end up standing there like an asshole -- shivering; hoping some of the hot water .....
It’s Just Lunch
What the hell is happening to us, guys? We’re filling our days with options instead of opting to fill our days. Take cereal. The classic question, .....
I Don’t Care Anymore
When I was in the fifth grade – you know, the time in your life when all you want is for your parents to NOT embarrass.....
I hate cats (not the musical)
I fucking hate cats. Not the musical. Unless it's about cats, then I fucking hate Cats. Before my girlfriend moved in wi.....
Dictures
What the hell happens to my cell phone when I die? Because I have sixty pictures of my cock on there right now.
Birthdays
Birthdays are annoying. Everything about them. For one, what are you talking about? This isn’t the thirteenth century. There’s really no need to c.....
Awkward Moments in Time
Last week I was at a music festival in San Francisco watching Ben Harper play. That’s not the awkward part. Ben Harper.....
10 things i hate (not including you)
Here is a small collection of some things I hate (not including you): Borrowing Things, Invitations, Concerts, Public Ba.....
me vs. you
I like seeing my friends do well in life, but you know what I like more? When they fail and bad shit happens to them. The other day my old roommate ca.....
kiddie porn
I just read somewhere that a bunch of people got arrested for having kiddie porn on their computers. It’s a story we all hear too often. What the FU.....
Dating
All of my friends have girlfriends. It’s so gay. Alright I’m only saying that because I’m jealous. I feel like such a loser when I go on a doubl.....
Names
I can’t remember people’s names and it makes me feel like an asshole. And it’s not because I’m worried people will think I don’t care about .....
Couch Time
When I was a kid I always used to say if I could suck my own dick, I’d never leave the house. But now that I’m older and I’ve come to terms with.....
I Heart Airplanes
Every time I get on an airplane I always have the same fantasy – I think some hot girl’s come sit down right next to me -- we’ll end up talking .....
Ikea
Dear Ikea, you make pieces of shit. I thought I bought a wooden dresser from you. But it’s not wood. In fact, it’s cardboard. You sold me a cardbo.....
Shit Story
Instead, I sat down and checked out some of the girls on my flight. All busted and in their sixties. And then out of nowhere, I had to rip one. But th.....
Reading Sucks
Books are okay sometimes I guess, like when spiders are crawling around and you need to smash their lights out with something or you when you need to .....
Yo, You’re Breath Stinks
I keep making up excuses for why I haven't been returning this girl's calls. But the truth is her breath stinks – alwa.....
Manager Mother
People outside of LA have no clue how things work in the entertainment business. And by people, I mean my mother.
